Thursday, December 14, 2006

The Great Indian Punjabi Circus

Well, I got the Punjabi genes and alu paranthas in my blood. Unfortunately, with that I got the loud and belching relatives package too.

Yes, the wedding is over and the loud relatives one usually associates with Punjabis is over too. So many weddings. So many memories. I dont know why but with one wedding, memories of the wweddings gone by too come like flashback in some weird Ekta Kapoor serial. Anyways, this is a post dedicated to my family that I have looked up to and inwardly laughed till I could not control my laughter. I present to you my Family!

THE UNCLES

Age: Above 50 yrs
They have gotta be the cutest of the lot. Together they are like retired army generals but the difference is they are not retired army generals. They laugh and crack the worst jokes. Some are funny, some are non-veg and some make you laugh because you oughta be laughing at them. Otherwise another one comes which beats the earlier joke at being the lamest and in my words are 'mere phrases'. Yes, they fart the loudest and burp the loudest. :)

Age: Above 40 yrs
These are the working sorts. Ok, they are the working lot. They always have grim expressions on their faces. Touch everyones feet and their haan ji's flow like water. When they get drunk.............God! Help us! Yes, they don't really talk much but when they get to talking they only talk dealers, sellers and clients. Oh yes, these are the ones with the weirdest nicknames such as Babbu, Puppy, Sheru, Chotu, Tilu, Tanny and some more like that!

The Aunties

Age: Above 5o yrs
You will find them upto some work. Sewing or cooking. They somehow flock together and know everything. From Pappu's padosi to Rinku's husbands salary. Nothing escapes them.

Age: Above 40 yrs
Ok. They will kill me if I categorise them here. They would claim they are above 25 yrs. Thats a bit of exaggeration. They would think they are in their mid 30's. Use the latest cosmetics. Has had a facial recently. In my words, true items. Its fun being next to them when one wants to crib about another family member. They truly know each and everyone's annoying habits and my oh my will even list out events when they were the most annoying! :D

Age: Above 30 yrs
Poor them. They are there looking after their kids who are running about in their shoes and with their lipsticks. They are too busy with their kids to really be assessed. If they are not, they are sleeping.

The Cousins
They are either pesky or not pesky. If they are pesky, they are just too pesky. Unfortunately, I got too many of them. They are always nosing around your stuff. Theres nothing normal about them. Flower shirts, tight white pants and their extremely punjabi accented english. The non-pesky ones thankfully make up for them. They are fun to hang out with and yes, everything is normal about them.

Last Category-My types
Yes, they are the arrogant, useless kinda like me. They sit and just stereotype their own relatives. First, they assess them. Categorise them and end up blogging on them!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i think the last category rocks. very characteristic of them to just sit on their lazy ass and bitch about others (psst, thats me as well)

Anonymous said...

hey aksha,
one of your funniest blogs yet.. love your honest 'analysis' of the various categories!
just hope that none of your 'loud relatives' comes across this blog!
and lemme assure you that it's not only your punjabi family that's a circus.. we've got loadsa them in india!